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Desensitized

Numbness
Encompassing me
Eradicating emotions
Ever so carefully

Wrapped in a blanket
Of hopelessness and despair
The worn out face in the mirror
Blinks and wonders how we got here

The shrapnel of life
Imbedded in my mind
Frozen in time
Prisoner of the worst kind

Stainless steel on the sink
Sweetly calls my name
Promising to take away
All of the pain

Blindly loving is a curse
What comes after
Is so much worse
The noise in my head never stops

I loved you all
With no regrets
Hoping that you understand
I always did my best

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Desensitized" captures the experience of emotional numbness and the struggle to break free from its grip. The use of vivid imagery, such as being wrapped in a "blanket of hopelessness and despair," effectively conveys the depth of the speaker's emotional state. The line "The shrapnel of life/Imbedded in my mind" is particularly powerful, as it suggests the lasting impact of trauma and difficult experiences.

One possible line edit could be to change "Loving blind is a curse" to "Blindly loving is a curse," which would make the phrasing more clear and grammatically correct.

Overall, the poem effectively conveys the experience of emotional numbness and the struggle to overcome it. The use of strong imagery and concise language make for a powerful and impactful piece of writing.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

(AI lies. I am still waiting for it to get back to me from yesterday, lol!)

I always find so very much to relate to in your poetry. your life mirrors my own and I wonder when you will get a break of luck. you deserve so much more happiness than you have had. there is so much energy in your poetry, I would love to see you put that marvelous energy into a shared life of love and trust.

my favorite lines of your poem are:

The shrapnel of life
Imbedded in my mind
Frozen in time
Prisoner of the worst kind

but don't let the bastards beat you down!

*love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I'm trying but this is a tough one. Thank you for your read and comment. I appreciate the kind words and encouragement.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

described the numbness and the agony of it. It seems odd to speak of numbness and agony in the same line, but I know that you understand what I'm talking about. It's that point where you are lost and just want all the pain to stop. Numb in the face of all that is happening and not having direction. Don't worry, it will get better. I'm sure that you will figure it out. Take your time,
go with the flow, like you are swimming in a riptide. You will feel the change in the current and be able to make it to shore. Maybe not where you figured on landing, but a place where you can catch your breath and figure out your next move. Don't worry about doing whatever it takes to survive, the important thing is to survive! We got your back! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I am not even sure I'm surviving at this point. Day 3 and I feel worse then yesterday.

~RoseBlack~

author comment
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