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The Other Half

How do you carry on
When the sun has left
And no soul knows
Where he has gone

The pain multiplies
Emotions and memories
That leads to oceans
Into weary eyes

Tomorrow can’t
Call in sick
So, what to do?
Another storm
To walk through

This war of regrets
Kill and upsets
Oh, life has a way
Of paying its debts

Slowly the sun
Lights up its throne
As it brightens
The darkest alleys
Of your heart

Happiness will reside
In your soul
As she
Turns into the half
That makes you whole

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.


The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Turbulence" explores the theme of love, loss, and the struggle to move on from painful experiences. The use of metaphors and imagery creates a vivid picture of the emotional turmoil that the speaker is going through. The opening line, "Love is a game of roulette," sets the tone for the rest of the poem, suggesting that love is unpredictable and sometimes leads to undesirable outcomes.

The poem's structure is simple, with four stanzas of equal length, making it easy to read and understand. The use of rhetorical questions, such as "How does one carry on," adds to the emotional depth of the poem, making the reader feel a sense of empathy towards the speaker.

The final stanza brings a sense of hope to the poem, with the idea that happiness will eventually reside in the speaker's soul. The metaphor of the sun returning to its throne and brightening the darkest alleys of the heart is a powerful image, suggesting that even the most painful experiences can eventually lead to growth and renewal.

One suggested line edit would be to change "Pretty darn quick" to "All too soon" to maintain the poem's serious and reflective tone.

Overall, "Turbulence" is a well-crafted poem that effectively conveys the emotional journey of the speaker. The use of metaphors and imagery creates a vivid picture of the speaker's pain and eventual healing, making it a relatable piece for anyone who has experienced the ups and downs of love.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

and right away, I was hiccupped by the:

"Sometimes you win
Other's you search
For the strength
To forgive and forget"

I tried to work this out but feel that the piece would be better served by leaving it out altogether.

I really don't get the predilection of many writers today
in capitalizing each line. This coupled with the absence of punctuation
makes it harder many times, to ascertain the meaning of many pieces.
I have done it sometimes, but feel that it is better reserved for those lines that are more statements
by themselves.

I love the line: "Tomorow doesn't call in sick", but think the following lines
of :
Life turns into a nightmare
That commences
Pretty darn quick"; just don't make it.

How about:
Tomorrow does not
call in sick
Life turns into a illness
you can't shake
so damned quick

~ Geez.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

This is so much better now that you have reworked it. I am impressed with the changes you've made, especially in regards to the third stanza. Nice! ~ Geez.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place


author comment

I think there is a new thoughtfulness to your poetry, I went through and checked the revisions and I agree with Gee you did some great work on this one. I could hear you rapping it lol

Very well done!!


Jayne x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

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