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Stupid Cupid!

Stupid Cupid?

The light of the moon
streaming down
in plain sight
she ran naked across the lawn

through the window
and onto her bed
she thought she was safe
when the light came on!

to her embarrassment
Mom and Dad were sitting there
Waiting suspiciously
with an accusative stare!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I'm grateful to anyone who reads this poem, but I have something important to say. When I was twenty I had an experience that would change my life forever! My life back then was a mess. One night I stumbled outside of the dorms at a college that was near the town in which I lived. I looked up into the midnight sky and a bright light begin inside of my head, beginning at the prefrontal cortex and filled it with light until the light passed through my brain stem. I could see every neuron in my brain. I had a feeling of intense ecstasy and saw things that I can't describe. The feeling lasted for only moments but it felt so good that I thought I was going to die. In the years that followed I have suffered with a condition called schizo-affective disorder. I just want to add that mental illness is real and although many people deny that it's real, I know that it is. If you have friends or loved ones who have been diagnosed with one. The best thing that you can do is educate yourself. Study about how to get the appropriate medical attention, such as doctors, social workers etc. You can also receive aid from organizations such as NAMI, DBSA and a local library.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Thank you for reading. I hope that someone, anyone will benefit from what I have written.

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment

I wanted to clarify a little about my initial comments. I just don't want people, especially those of my own faith to believe that sin is the only explanation for this type of behavior. I think that all too often people suffer and sometimes end their lives because of the hypersensitivity associated with almost every condition of this sort.

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment

there are many people out there in need of help and not getting it. Unfortunately, there is a big gap in our understanding of mental illness. Many people think of it as something that can be overcome by simply saying that it is a sinful thing. It is just like a physical illness, not something that one indulges in because they want to, but rather that they need guidance and medication, just like any disease. Good job explaining that. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Well done. Thank you for sharing your relevant poem, and your vital message.
L

Thanks for reading this. I feel like you get it. These things are difficult to deal with, but I have had miraculous help and though it has shattered my ability to function normally in society. I am grateful to friends and loved ones who have
been there through thick and thin. I have some friends who have been out in the streets, and I am concerned about them.
One in particular goes into serious psychosis and has been incarcerated more than once. They weigh on my mind and I call them a lot. Thank you for your kind words and interest.

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment
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