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Godz Hitman!

Sally down the alleyway
dressed for mal intent
carbon fiber .38
attitude set on vent
to make a game of circumstance
your victim out of view
smokey bars and burned out cars
are all you ever knew
sleeping by the riverbed
staring out at cement shoes
your victims all have paid a price
but then again
you one eyed jack
someday so will you
your destination darkens,
with the sultry sinking sun
her shadow cast against the wall
and the smell of cheap perfume

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This is just a fun one that I wrote after watching a movie. I just hope that it makes you laugh.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

with its' on and off again rhyme, there is just enough rhyme to keep it flowing smoothly and justifying calling it free-verse.
Yep, I laughed. The primary character, being of a slightly shady nature, wins out over the evil bad guy, finding thrills and cheap excitement while doing so. Nice stuff. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

You are either the wisest and or most intelligent person that I have ever had conversations with. You got the interpretation right on the head. Thanks for your comment it made me feel good and that's hard to do these days, for any one. Thanks again!

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment

or most intelligent person, I just watch a lot of T.V. This is what our society believes in! It's okay to cheat just a little bit, to win over the bad-guy. It's okay to take some pleasure in a bit of drink, tobacco use and sex as a reward. Otherwise, who would do it? Glad to help out in making you feel a little good, we all need a bit of it these days. LoL ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I am partial to hitmen and really enjoyed this! Well done!

~RoseBlack~

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