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Longing For The Wolf

Half-silvered rumination
Introspection turned to dispair
The soul's yearning detained
By talon and lust

Eyes that glowed
Brighter than moonbeams
Teeth that snarled
In a libidinous sneer

An unconquerable charm
That dances with willing prey
Longing to succumb
Silently, she begged him to appear

Night gave way to daylight
Her body ached while her heart wept
Over fairy tales that never came true
Prince Charming's heroic facade would never do

When he'd return, she'd gather him in
Her wings of blackend vulnerability
Offered in needful submission
Her alpha, her one, her only

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

only one! I hear you, sometimes it is all we have, no matter our wishes to the contrary.
The line introspection turned inward, presents a confusing statement because of the meaning of both introspection and inward. I wonder if you might say: Introspection in silence or some such. I like the word introspection
but it needs more thought. Otherwise, a well told story of romance. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

For the suggestion. I made a change to that line. Yes, there is only one wolf. Try as we may...we can't deny what the heart wants....glad you enjoyed.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

I really liked the story and the depiction of a darker side of love and lust.

Introspection turned inward
The soul's yearning detained
By talon and lust

I am wondering at this part of the first stanza. It's really turning my brain inside out. Maybe it's me? I am tired. Introspection turned inward, Well introspection, is already looking at ones mental or emotional process, but then that's turned inwards. I am really trying to nut this out.

Maybe? Heart-searching reveals intent,

That's just an example.

It sounds kind of like a Lion and the lamb, and the lamb as fallen for the Lion but there can never be another because their love overcomes any obstacles that there may be between them, even his sharp fangs or sharp claws, and whether be it struggles between them or outside influences. God my minds running wild with that first stanza ha-ha.

It's got me thinking and that's always a good thing, to make the reader dig for the deeper meanings.

love and hugs Jayne xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

lmao and while I was writing my comment you've changed it, all good, I will leave it there that took some time as I was playing phone tag with family members at the same time as writing it.

big hugs xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

I took Gee's suggestion and found a better word. I'm glad you enjoyed. I am still not sure I am totally satisfied with this. Maybe more edits to come.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

I will look forward to watching this one grow!!

love and big hugs Jayne xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

I am not into Prince Charming because you are right, he doesn't exist. I've always had a thing for the wolf so to speak

~RoseBlack~

author comment

I love the passion, the longing and desire of this poem, and the surrender. my favorite lines are:

When he'd return, she'd take him in
Putting her vulnerability in his hands
There was never another, try as she may
Her Alpha he'd always be

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I thought you may enjoy this one! I keep feeling like there needs to be more like maybe it isn't polished enough.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

it is pretty damned good!

*hugs, Cat
*ever, eddy

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I see what you’re driving at. The concept of alpha male has been way misconstrued in our society. Yes the alpha eats first and breeds first but, alpha wolves’ main job is to care for their pack. No wolf can take large game alone. It takes teamwork and the team needs to eat too. When someone submits to your care it’s your job to actually care for them because they’ve placed that trust in you. This applies to human interactions. Definitely.

Tim

How you see the deeper meaning! It definitely applies to human interactions. This also is reflective on how sometimes the whole Prince Charming concept really doesn't work for some. I prefer the wolf over a heroic facade any day.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

I spelled incorrectly when I suggested the changes. So, that’s my fault.

Lol
Tim

Paying attention...lol...

~RoseBlack~

author comment
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