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uninhibited

(cursed or blessed)
Oh the pain and pleasure
of the living soul
The agony or the ecstasy
It’s our decision
Individually alone to make
So inconsequentially
Which road to take
The living hell
Each breath does make
Oh fool you of the fleshy bondage
Are you not at all aware
of the irony of your senseless groping
The endless pain of love forsaken
Or the noncommittal chances taken
On a grand scale of nothing ventured
Nothing gained
From all loves pleasures
hence abstained
And so you’ve been told
That you’ve been blessed
By God’s sweet loving tenderness
The human favorite granted choices
The gifted one of hungry voices
And still you have not guessed
Instead of cursed you call it blessed

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Contest: 
Content level: 
Explicit Content

Comments

I think this is a wonderful entry in the competition, I can't see anything I'd change in it, and I think maybe the only thing I would have spilt it into more than one column to give it more emphasis.

That's the only thing I can think of that I might have done differently, again different doesn't mean right it was/is just a thought.

Good Luck Sis xox

Love Always Lilbit xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

I am not sure I know what you mean by splitting it into more than one column, could you give me an example? thank you for your generosity.

* love, Siscat

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author comment

I like this, Cat. It's racy like a long sigh where many thoughts run into one another and then right at the end it slows down and leaves me with a feeling of relief and at the same time a kind of frustrated at-ease-ness where there is some clarity and distinction between the poet and the 'you' who seems to be other. I like the rhyming also and its irregularity adds to the sense of this being one long sigh.
Thank you

when I wrote this, it came rushing out of me like one long sentence... it was like I could not get it written down fast enough. I'd also had a rough day and a bible-thumper harassing me about religion. thank you for reading it and the decent comment. it is greatly appreciated.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

As I was reading your poem, I could feel the frustration and the agony of your words.

My poems often come out in a rush, sometimes in the small hours of the morning.

One thing I will say - is that even Christians can question whether things are a blessing or a curse. And if gets me how some people cab put a positive spin on anything.

Loved this poem, for it's raw honesty.

thank you for reading my poem and gifting me with your thoughts pertaining to it.... it is nice to read your honest comment. it was a pleasure to read.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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