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Winter’s Gait

Driving wind screaming
February holds the reigns
Frozen unshod hooves

Gallop for the rains
Atop the hardened frost line
Below pounding trot

A sleeping world waits
Root and spore begin to plot
Winter changes gait

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

this is a very good detailed poem depicting Winter, one of the best I have ever read!

*hugs & love, Cat

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I feel like Winter has changed its gait, hoping to throw us off. [the thought did occur to me, like bucking you off].
February does hold the [reins]. Not feeling so alone in that, I see. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Has outstayed its welcome. I love the images of it guiding horses through its many different personalities. Well done!

~RoseBlack~

It’s short and sweet. I like it. It captures perfectly the climate I’m currently in, so this hits home.

"To fly is to fall."

This is a few weeks old and I’ve been saving it. The stanzas are essentially haiku. However there is a rhyme pattern that follows western poetry patterns. Reigns/Rains, trot/plot, waits/gait.

I was making it up. I don’t think it’s a thing this hybrid style.

author comment

Hi, Tim,
I like the idea of using the three haiku together to form a longer poem. I especially like the way the poem transitions naturally the way a single haiku does - the first two stanzas defining the natural subject, and the last offering contrast. "A sleeping world waits." Peaceful and calm.
Thank you!
L

You just explained what I noticed. The Haiku and the rhyme hidden in amongst it. I've never known such a winter, such as you all experience. Except through the written word. Which this conveys.

Well done

Jayne

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Very nicely done. One was good three even better.

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