Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Shut It

Silence
you speak only
to barb my every thought
did you forget who I am not
Shut it!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
My attempt at a Cinquain
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hello, Carrie,
I am so excited to see this! Yes! And what a great cinquain you've created with such strong feeling and energy. It is almost complete - just needs the fifth line with a word(s) containing 2 syllables that is a synonym to "silence." (Maybe insert your title there?)
I am so stoked with this! :)
L

I can't believe I forgot the last line!! I got distracted at work and hit publish! Good catch! Glad you enjoyed.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

:)

Aside from sonnet and haiku I’m a dope about format and structures. I’ve got a metronome going in my head 24/7 so my natural inclination is toward 4 or 6 or 8 “beats” per line. Because those are the most common musical time signatures. 4/4, 3/4, 4/8. 6/8 is natural too. 5/4, 7/8, 9/8 total nightmare if you don’t count beats.

I love this poem Carrie. Just make sure YOU don’t forget who you’re not. That happens to me a lot. Less now but still.

Tim

I think I do forget who I am not from time to time...an ongoing struggle that I am working on. I'm glad you liked this. I am trying to research and learn new forms, step outside my usual box.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

I don't know much about different forms. but I know what I like, and I like this!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Glad you enjoyed

~RoseBlack~

author comment

I absolutely love this one I think it's very clever.

Well done!!!

Nothing to suggest in the way of critique either.

Love and biggest hugs Jayne xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Trying new things...glad you enjoyed

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Glad you enjoyed

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Literally...I am not that person...lol

~RoseBlack~

author comment

I loved your poem and the type of style you are trying.

Glad you enjoyed

~RoseBlack~

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.