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Weep... by: (Cat's husband Steven)

Weep…
Weep for those species that are extinct,
For their existence is but a fading memory,
And we are complicit.
Weep…
Weep for those who are starving,
For their food lies withering in the fields,
And we are complicit.
Weep…
For those yet to come,
For their world is dying,
And we are guilty.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
my husband Steven wrote this last night. it kept him awake until he got out of bed to write it.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Something everyone can relate to. Alex

I told him that you agree.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
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author comment

He’s a good writer. Maybe it’s not something he does often, I think that’s ok. Harper Lee only published one book. I consider it the most important book of the late 20th century. Steven has a compassionate and brilliant mind.

I was thinking of sharing this the other day and then it escapes me…forgive my eagerness, this is after all, my favorite poet.

Saint Stephen
Lyrics by Robert Hunter

Saint Stephen with a rose
In and out of the garden he goes
Country garland in the wind and the rain (note 1)
Wherever he goes the people all complain

Stephen prosper in his time
Well he may, and he may decline
Did it matter, does it now?
Stephen would answer if he only knew how

Wishing well with a golden bell
Bucket hanging clear to hell
Hell half way twixt now and then
Stephen fill it up and lower down, and lower down again

Lady finger, dipped in moonlight
Writing "What for?" across the morning sky
Sunlight splatters dawn with answers
Darkness shrugs and bids the day goodbye

Speeding arrow, sharp and narrow
What a lot of fleeting matters you have spurned
Several seasons with their treasons
Wrap the babe in scarlet colours, call it your own

Did he doubt or did he try?
Answers a-plenty in the by and by
Talk about your plenty, talk about your ills
One man gathers what another man spills (note 2)

Saint Stephen will remain
All he's lost he shall regain
Seashore washed by the suds and the foam
Been here so long he's got to calling it home

Fortune comes a-crawling, Calliope woman
Spinning that curious sense of your own
Can you answer? Yes I can
But what would be the answer to the answer man?

-----(William Tell Bridge)-----
High green chilly winds and windy vines in loops (note 3)
Around the twined shafts of lavender
They're crawling to the sun

Underfoot the ground is patched
With climbing arms of ivy wrapped
Around the manzanita stark and shiny in the breeze

Wonder who will water all the children of the garden
When they sigh about the barren lack
Of rain and droop so hungry 'neath the sky

William Tell has stretched his bow
Till it won't stretch no furthermore
And/or it will require a change that hasn't come before (Note 4)

(1) the songbooks "Grateful Dead Anthology" and "Authentic Guitar Classics Volume 2" both have "Country garden ..." for this line. But that is a mistake: Robert Hunter's "Box Of Rain" has "Country garland ..." and that sounds to be what the Dead sing. (Thanks to Sam Hoffman for pointing this out).

(2) Bobby added "Except in California" when the Dead played this on 1 March 1969. (thanks to Brian Schnapp for this).

(3) this section was omitted from the version on "Aoxomoxoa" and dropped by the Dead in versions after 1969. It was only played when "Saint Stephen" segued into The Eleven. Because of this, some have questioned whether it should really be seen as part of "The Eleven" instead of part of "Saint Stephen". But Robert Hunter includes these words under "Saint Stephen" in the lyrics in his book "Box Of Rain". Both Ratdog and The Dead began playing this section in 2003 - with The Dead's versions not always segueing into "The Eleven".

(4) in early versions (such as on "Two From The Vault") this was sung as "And when he will release it, will it pare the apple core?"

Steve and I say thank you for reading his poem and the huge comment! he is glad you liked it.he is working, now so he cannot respond. a lot of information here, thanks.

* Steven & Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I'm going to ask Steven to reply to you personally.

*love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I read your response to Steven. he said, "that was very nice of her!" and he asked me to thank you.

*Steven & Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I knew he was there, he has just been hiding his light under the bushel! I'm glad that he got up to write this down and share it with us!
~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

he thanks us both, lol as I warned him to always get out of bed and write them down; or else he will lose them! I'm so glad you appreciate his poetry!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I'm blown away, tell Steve I send accolades for a absolutely brilliant poem.

I have just bookmarked it. I will return tomorrow. With a less fried brain. It's been a bit of a night.

Loads of love to you both always Lilbug xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

lol, he is a beautiful, brilliant person. before I even met him, I was terrible attracted to him. I loved the way he moved. it was at a beerball game of his fellow workers. after work they all got together for a game of softball (with beer) I was with Reanne, my lab partner and friend at NE/I. her husband, John worked with Steven. after the game, the four of us went out for a bite. he took my phone# and called me the next Saturday. we went out. after, we went to his house and i stayed the night. I only went back for my motorcycle. then to pack up and move in to his place.

what I learned about him, is that he was a loner and he never let anyone close enough to learn him. very closed off. but I slid right passed all his barriers. he is a software engineer and he never wrote a poem in his life...until me. now he has written three/ in 35 years. he is the loveliest person I have ever known. and he loves eddy styx's poetry! how lucky could I get!?!

*love, catsis

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author comment

He is a exceptional poet. I love his creativity. Beautiful!!!
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

I told him what you wrote and he thanks you!

*hugs, Cat
*ever, Steve

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When someone reads your work
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author comment

Hello, Cat, and Steven,
A brief and sincere piece. Very well said.
L

we both thank you!

*hugs, Cat & Steven

*
When someone reads your work
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author comment

I have read this 3 times and see things I'd have done different. But by doing is I don't think it would be improved.

thank you so very much!
*hugs, Cat & Steven

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author comment

What a great way to put into words the worry and concern we all have about where the world is heading and yes we are all feeling guilty at its demise but helpless to change the path or direction it is heading.

Your husband is a great poet succinct and insightful
Poets Hand
Hannah

I am filled with horror and sorrow at where this world is going. Steven picks up on that. probably because I 'broadcast' too loudly! thank you for the read and comment. and a tip of the hat.

*hugs, Cat & Steven

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

He is a brilliant writer. So glad he shared with us!

~RoseBlack~

this was in his head when I woke him up. I'm so glad I did, otherwise it would have been lost forever. thank you, it is always good to hear from you!

* hugs, Cat and Steven

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I had to agree with everyone about how amazing is this. I especially like the repetitive weep. How tender this is. It has a great deal of empathy with others all through which is really appreciated
Please tell Steve this is very well done.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

I will tell him :)

*love, Cat

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And responds, please be courteous
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author comment

A social conscience is the best and noblest most important attribute of a writer of any age thanks for the read regards John :)

he has much to say on the subject of the human race. I just wish I could get him to write it down! thank you for your thoughts.

*hugs, Cat and Steven

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When someone reads your work
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author comment

A write by your husband he’s a gifted poet too :)

we thank you.

*Cat and Steven

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I said I would return it's been a busy week.

I think if more people thought like this than trying to control the flow of power and the narrative the world would be a better place.

I'm all for fighting for a better world but we need to make sure there is a world of species left to save.

I watched a recent protest and though it had merit. I thought what if all that money and effort went into saving extinct species imagine what we could save and the world our dependants would grow up to know. I don't want my great grandchildren to know Koalas from pictures and stories. They have significant health issues.

There are so many of our mammals and other critters that are on the extinction list.

I have petted a Koala in the wild it was during the huge bushfires we experienced a few years ago the poor thing was dying of thirst. I walked a mile to get water and come back finding him in the same spot half dead from heat exhaustion and thirst

Now Steve's poem has the reaction it deserves. My brain was melting the other night.

Steve should make his own account snd publish at his leisure, his thoughts. You're both poets in your own right.

Exceptional poem Bravo.

Love to you both Lilbug xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

i feel so bad for that lovely furbaby that you gave a drink of water. you are so sweet. what is the name of your little dog, I have meant to ask, but I keep forgetting to. thank you for coming back to this. I will try to get him to open an account here, but he is so shy...

*love, siscat & Steven

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

that even if he only writes another three poems in the next thirty-five years, it would be worth it to US, for him to have an account! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

This is Steve.

Thank you all for the wonderful comments regarding the poem. I truly appreciate them. Most of the time, I write my poetry in the Python programming language, since I am, at heart, an engineer. At this point, 41 years into our marriage, I've gotten the "poetry bug" a total of three times. All have been posted here in her account. For me, that is sufficient. I've never wanted to have anything published or to garner any other kind of notoriety. So, I am pleased that my occasional dips in the poetry pool can be shared with the love of my life and her friends.

Thanks, again, for all the kind words.
Steven

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Cat is an exemplary poet and an honest friend. I do hope you continue to write and enjoy writing poetry thanks for sharing John :)

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