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OCH! (for Obi)

I cannae believe it
Just look at THAT!
There's blood in the cludgie
Where I just shat.

Och! boggin hell!
What stench! I swoon
I ken I'm fell
n' dyin' soon

It stappit me rump
It maimed me hole
That bloody clump
Half-filled the bowl

Good-bye cruel world!
I bet you'll laugh
When these pipes skirl
My epitaph!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
I was going to tack this onto the replies for the poem by Obadiah Grey "as of late", but hope he gets the inside joke, too. Cheers Obi! Thomas
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I am sure he will get a big kick from reading this! (I know I did!)

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Rabbi Burns would be proud of ye, Thomas.
And move over McGonagall there's a new guy in town !!

Oh god bless ya, your little ditty gave me a belly laugh and that was much appreciated.

"Poetic poultice fer a bleedin arse."

Take this salve-
this balm-
this unction,
apply 'round valve
and up yer junction.

refrigerate and best
kept cool to thicken
up bloody water stool.
please don't fret
and do not fear

'tis but poetic -
Diarrhea !

Cheers, Thomas....... Obi.

I really love this one!! I cannae change a word ;)

Nice to meet you

Sincerely Jayne x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Is it just me, or is this site being over-run with AI bots and cricket poets?

Thomas

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.

...so like my lost dreams...the flood

author comment

"cricket poets", is that reference to rhyming couplets ??

Obi.

Sometimes, when you comment on a poem, all you get back is "crickets". Makes me think it's just a BOT submitting the work....like the emails you get that you can't respond to.

Thomas

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.

...so like my lost dreams...the flood

author comment

This is a thought proking ditty, possibly to be used while sitting on the bog. I'm sure timing is everything, and if possible maybe a rat a tat tat bullet reign on release would compliment the rhyming structure, no end :)

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

Thanks for reading and your comment. All just in pure fun!

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

author comment
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