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I, I , I , I will never know, who I am.

 

Silence

   Emptiness

        Cleverness 

 

Do I exist ?

 

   Love catches the fishes on fire.

                Water catches their ideas.

                        Black, like the ink of my mouth.

                                    Cold because it's water.

 

 

Drown.

 

 

 

 

 

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

This is good Jakub. The style is mature. Was actually expecting a long poem because I was intrigued with the story, diction, style and all. Looking forward to seeing more of your poems.

It’s going to take me awhile with this one. It’s a think piece.

I’ll be back,
Tim

me too, me too...
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I really like the formatting and the cryptic undertone. It really makes you think...

~RoseBlack~

This leaves me thinking...
The visual imagery in the poem makes the reader to ponder!

Apt yet beautifully crafted with poetic reflection.
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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