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Wounded

The heart wept;
Memoirs of pain;
Triggered through the veins;
Do you not see my scars?
It’s raw, raw raw!

Locked in a bubble;
Trapped in my mind;
Feelings of hurt is all I can find;
The disgust of lies;
Oh how time flies;
But my scars are raw, raw, raw!

Dawn has come;
Where am I from?
Is it from my abusive family?
Is it from my cold relatives?
Where are the genuine people?
Are there at all concern adults?

My wounds are raw, raw, raw!
It haunts my dreams;
It numbs my soul;
It never heals;
Do hear my cries!
Find me, embrace me!
Wipe from me these teary eyes!
Comfort me before I die;
My wounds are raw, raw, raw!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Thank you all for sharing a perspective or ways this piece of poetry can be improved if needed.
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Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Some say that it is our pain that is a large part of what makes us human. That without it, some of life’s color is drab.

Personally, I’ve had enough pain (not the physical sort, altho I’ve had my fair share of that too) and want little more of it.

Your piece invited me to think about pain.

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Hi Mr Roy Whitaker thank you for taking the time to read this piece of my poetry. Hearing your comment is true and perfectly said. When I wrote this piece it came from deep within while I reflected and decided to let it out and be free. I agree it is our pain that truly makes us human, and the experience to bore resilience.

Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "

author comment

I could really relate to this poem. It is nicely written. It touches the heart and soul.

Thank you I am glad it resonates with you. Thank you for taking the time to read this piece.

Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "

author comment
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