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Sick Again pt # 4 (round robin)

Sick Again pt #4 ?

this separation of body from mind, pieces like a jigsaw
there goes my right arm as I reach for a glass to fill with orange juice
(forget the glass, drink straight from carton)icy cold, I take giant gulps of this nectar from the gods
Ice Cream Headache! too much, too soon! Now belly vengeance, quick, to the bathroom...
just in the nick of time. i only trampled three old ladies in getting here. grab the wastepaper basket.
cold throne, I am planted, holding basket on my lap like a treasure which I am about to defile!
hot and cold, running at both ends... no surprise here... I might not have made it to the porcelain...
"think about that, you @sshole" I berate myself, as I have often done before. I wonder if I will be
invited back there again? I only made a small swamp of their guest bathroom... I supposed I should
have tried harder to clean it up? and when I ran short on toilet paper, I should not have used the
curtain to finish my "wipe"but I'm sure it will come out in the wash...slapping hand to red face...
probably wiping on the family cat, wasn't a good idea!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hugging the porcelain bus is never fun and I'm sure the cat will forgive u for wiping on them.

~RoseBlack~

thank you Rose!

*hugs, Cat

*
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author comment

I guess that you weren't out of the loop very long? A marvelous job! I couldn't stop laughing! I love the half-finished lines, that made it sound as if you were as dicombobulated as you indicated. Snarf, snarf, OMFG! Funny shit! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

your reaction has me howling!!! I doubt my hostess and host are laughing >{^*;*^}<

thanks, Geez, you made it worth while!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I have absolutely coated the interior of at least three different vehicles, never mine. The disconnected thinking is totally like being belligerent beyond capacity.

Super funny and very authentic,
Tim

your comment is the cherry on the cake of my day, lol

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I guess I exaggerated a bit...but not by much!

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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