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The Murder in Sixth Street Alley...

Sitting in my unlit window
in the dark, I watch the alley
Sweaty and yet chilled
from the scene before me
I watch the struggle and see
the gleam of a knife flashing
Once, twice, a third time
and with a muffled, gurgling sound
an indistinct form falls
limp against the dumpster
I give a start, my chair squeaks...
the murderer stares in my direction.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
This is a round-robin for 5 members here on Neo. it is an experiment to see how well a thing like this will go. If it goes well, there will be more and others will be invited to join and make their own. The rules are: 1] Each member will follow an order of appearance. 2] They will follow the story-line 3] they will be allowed 12 lines, [no more] 4] when the last person has had their turn, the story will be concluded and hopefully in a manner appreciated by all. 5] Each person will be allowed to start their own story at the end of each story. [They may decide if Free-verse or rhyme]. 6] this experiment will take a couple of weeks. We would appreciate the comments and critique of anyone on the site and may make adjustments accordingly.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I reached the end. the story line is thrilling! I can't wait to see what comes next! this would make a good murder mystery! will you autograph my copy?

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

we will all have to autograph each other's! LoL
~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Oh, You Tantalus You!
Must admit to a Bated breath moment,
A, yeah, yeah, yeah,,,,,,,,,,

Oh, fuckin' 'ell moment.

Hope it goes well. Obi.

so glad that this seems to be intriquing to all that have responded so far. It bodes well for the experiment! Thank you for your enthusiastic response. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Can't wait to see where this goes! I'm on the edge of my seat
.

~RoseBlack~

I'm glad that it is so well recieved, I really hope that it goes well and we can continue this on a regular basis. I'm sure that you all will keep this going in an equally good fashion. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

For Rosewood's entry so I can follow. I will be watching for it tonight from work.

~RoseBlack~

does Tim need to be alerted to the fact that he is up next?

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

do that now. I didn't think that he would need it, but...

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

with a brilliant piece...

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Be reading Tim's piece this evening and will do my best to have my answer tonight, if not tomorrow morning.

~RoseBlack~

I know that you will be as brillant as any of us. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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