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Survivor of the Night
Black curtain of dead, will not follow me into the bedroom, today.
It will obey.
I could only see the doors.
At the doors stood a man
His smile told me everything
He was wicked.
The craziness of the whole situation,
Was clearly visible.
The man that stood at the door was death,
Looking into the eyes of a dead man.
The curtain moved in both directions, until, the man said its goodbyes
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Jackweb
Fri, 2022-06-17 20:53
Apparition!
A ghost like image of a person sometimes causes fear of death !
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Candlewitch
Sat, 2022-06-18 06:07
hello,
you can tell a lot about a person from their smile, but it can lie just like the eyes. an interesting write. i like the title and the language usage was good. I like the plot.
*hugs, Cat
*
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And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Sat, 2022-06-18 06:08
I would use...
[his] instead of [its'] in the last line! ~ Geezer.
.
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