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The art of War
A simple man,
in a simple life,
without a simple stand.
The simple flower he holds,
close to his heart,
singing.
He plays with words.
I love.
I loved.
I will love.
He falls,
down, crumbles, fight for his own way,
and while You could sit and watch him, crawl,
Would you ?
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-06-17 07:27
hello Jakub,
that is a very good question!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Fri, 2022-06-17 09:17
A quite unexpected title...
I enjoyed the work you put into making this a sort of pseudo-love poem. Nice! ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Jakub Zoltowski
Fri, 2022-06-17 11:34
Thank You for your comments.
Thank You for your comments.
Jakub
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