Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

NOT NAKED

NOT NAKED

I'm not voiceless
surely not a dog that can't bark

I'm not dumb and mute
certainly not a lion that can't roar

Like the adornment of a new bride
the shell adorns a snail

Like the night broods the dawn
the albumen covers the yolk

Like the pregnant sky put
a smile on the face of the earth
your charity has rubbed the powder
of gladness on the face of my heart

Like an aesthetic painting
the stripes beautify a Zebra

Like a coat of many colours
feathers give birds an edge
in the realm of flying creatures

I'm not naked
men are my raiment of royal rest
I'm not naked
people are my garments of honour
that speak the diction of love.

'Dunni Ebenco

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I think the pattern is a little inconsistent.
Beautiful ending it has however.
Nice work all together.

Thank you, Huzzy king.

author comment

I like the title and your language usage. this poem has lovely flow through. my favorite lines are:

people are my garments of honour
that speak the diction of love.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thank you, candlewitch.

author comment

Strong personification "Like the pregnant sky put
a smile on the face of the earth..."

I like your poetic mastery of using that literary tool to heightened the effect.

Beautiful composition!

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

Thank you, Cosmos.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.