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By All Means
By all means, HE will shelter you.
Storms may come, yet you see the sun.
Darkness follows, yet never crosses your path.
Others fall, yet you stand tall.
Sorrow touches your heart, yet you feel comforted.
Others doubt you, yet joy is forever present.
Fear comes; HE is there.
By HIS Voice peace forever abide; by all means.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Race_9togo
Mon, 2022-01-10 21:15
Welcome to Neopoet
I like this first poem of yours. It flows very well, it has a powerful message, and just enough imagery to evoke that feeling of otherness and timelessness that I enjoy in a poem, without making it too prosaic or in-your-face.
One criticism: you don't need to capitalize entire words, particularly when refering to our Creator. A simple 'His' and 'He' would suffice. Everyone will know and understand who you are talking about!
Another criticism:
"By HIS Voice peace forever abide"
I might say it
"By His Voice peace forever abides"
because it gives the line more immediacy, better cadence, and it puts the focus on Him and His voice, which are the reason for peace.
Like I said, I like this. I like it a lot. I think its a great first poem.
I look forward to reading more from you!
Again, welcome to Neopoet.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
scribbler
Tue, 2022-01-11 15:32
Caps
enough already said about That lol. I like your poem about your strong belief. Welcome to the asylum. Should you have any navigation or other problems on site just holler. If I can't help I'll point you to somebody who can