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Absence

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Sat, 2021-12-25 11:23

Love isn't a burden
until it is gone
A failure of stone
I thought was forever

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Triskelion

Sat, 2021-12-25 12:58

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It's probably just me, but I get the first two lines and the third just escapes my reasoning. Was it meant to do that?

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

Michael Anthony

Sat, 2021-12-25 14:26

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Thanks for stopping by Tri. The third line was intended to convey that we often take our loved ones (or lost loves...) for granted, and that they will always be there for us.

Cheers

Michael Anthony

author comment

Michael Anthony

Sat, 2021-12-25 14:29

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Also, a lot of my poetry is inspired by the brevity of haiku, sometimes this works to the poem's advantage, and sometimes I may miss the mark. Merry Christmas!

Cheers

Michael Anthony

author comment

Triskelion

Sat, 2021-12-25 15:24

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I was trying to apply weight measure to the word "stone". Cheers, and Merry Christmas to you as well.

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

Geezer

Sat, 2021-12-25 15:06

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right away! Good stuff! ~ Geez.
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scribbler

Sat, 2021-12-25 23:50

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Brevity often requires the reader to think.......thanks for the headache lmao

Jackweb

Mon, 2021-12-27 15:43

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It uncovers the heavy Metaphor in the poem. The impact of metaphor is to represent ideas through comparison. It allows poets to convey vivid imagery that transcends literary meanings , creates images that are easier to understand and respond to than literal language.

Simple verse but needs a poetic mind to break it apart.

Well written Michael Anthony

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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