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A DIFFERENT KIND OF YOLK

When I was a kid I remember feeling different then my folks,
You could say my egg had a different kind of yolk.

I was angry, rude, hyper and high-strung,
I spoke how I felt never held my tongue.

I was constantly getting into fights,
My mom would ground me she tried to set me right.

I always felt like there was something wrong with me,
I was loud, causing trouble never low key.

As I grew older the problem got bigger,
Cocked and loaded finger on the trigger.

Puberty arrived and she stuck her head out,
Six-grade camp a girl I was crazy about.

We had to be cautious big trouble if caught,
We would sneak away to our hiding spot.

I thought my heart would explode in my chest,
From that first kiss I knew I was possessed.

We got caught making out our parents blew a fuse,
They told us it's not normal and there is no excuse.

We paid no attention it was puppy love,
She was the only thing I could think of.

I remember feeling different then my folks,
You could say my egg had a different kind of yolk…

TURBO1904

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I think children are more perceptive, than many people think.
Thoughts not yet brought to the fore of the mind, are beginning to take shape.
Why do I not feel the same way about sex, as my friends? Why, is something that feels
so right, supposed to be wrong?
Anyway, I applaud your honesty and you tell a great story!

I hope to see more of your work soon, ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I would have liked you when you were young,
I reeaally like you now you're,,,,,,,,,,,older, and found yourself.

It's a good piece! perhaps a tad reliant on rhyme, I say that because I see potential.

Hope you carry on !

Obi.

I’ll look forward to reading more of your work.

I won’t recommend any content of your poem, seems well done to me. I will suggest more use of commas perhaps…

Like: “ Cocked and loaded finger on the trigger.” A comma in between loaded and finger would add emphasis.

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