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A DIFFERENT KIND OF YOLK

When I was a kid I remember feeling different then my folks,
You could say my egg had a different kind of yolk.

I was angry, rude, hyper and high-strung,
I spoke how I felt never held my tongue.

I was constantly getting into fights,
My mom would ground me she tried to set me right.

I always felt like there was something wrong with me,
I was loud, causing trouble never low key.

As I grew older the problem got bigger,
Cocked and loaded finger on the trigger.

Puberty arrived and she stuck her head out,
Six-grade camp a girl I was crazy about.

We had to be cautious big trouble if caught,
We would sneak away to our hiding spot.

I thought my heart would explode in my chest,
From that first kiss I knew I was possessed.

We got caught making out our parents blew a fuse,
They told us it's not normal and there is no excuse.

We paid no attention it was puppy love,
She was the only thing I could think of.

I remember feeling different then my folks,
You could say my egg had a different kind of yolk…

TURBO1904

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I think children are more perceptive, than many people think.
Thoughts not yet brought to the fore of the mind, are beginning to take shape.
Why do I not feel the same way about sex, as my friends? Why, is something that feels
so right, supposed to be wrong?
Anyway, I applaud your honesty and you tell a great story!

I hope to see more of your work soon, ~ Geezer.
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I would have liked you when you were young,
I reeaally like you now you're,,,,,,,,,,,older, and found yourself.

It's a good piece! perhaps a tad reliant on rhyme, I say that because I see potential.

Hope you carry on !

Obi.

I’ll look forward to reading more of your work.

I won’t recommend any content of your poem, seems well done to me. I will suggest more use of commas perhaps…

Like: “ Cocked and loaded finger on the trigger.” A comma in between loaded and finger would add emphasis.

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