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Midnight Road

I once walked down a midnight road
Heard a croak from a single toad
Fires burned out on that night
Erratic bats in flight
Saints burnt down in the streets of old

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


the title and the poem is good, but I am a little puzzled by the last line. In the next to last line; you need another syllable. How bout "Erratic bats [taking] flight?

When you are writing for the Random Challenge!
Example: "I Need To Recharge" is prompt.
title is "Plugging In" It should appear this way:
"Plugging In" - Random Challenge/ I Need To Recharge

hmm not sure the problem really is it the pace?

author comment

You perhaps could add 4 paras
this is neither a Haiku
you say 'tis WESTERN

My view only
you Gee and Stan
are the future of Neo

or close enough to it lol
hi Lovedly

author comment

neo is going SLOW


It is always darkest before the dawn.

author comment
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