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Family fraud

Submitted by The Eccentric poet on Mon, 2021-04-12 09:31

You were always shouting out,
About the things you dream about,
Climbing up the financial ladder,
How you got there didn't matter.
House was full of the latest craze,
Made sure your friends would be amazed,
At all the junk you could afford,
Thanks to adult abuse and family fraud.

Me living my days hand to mouth,
Social services, neglect life going south,
They said its cold turn on the heater,
You say we can't afford it, check the meter.
Skipping food for my children's meals,
While you're splashing out on your brand new wheels.
No visits but you took the money,
"No time right now see you later honey"

Months and years us doing without,
Paying the mortgage on your 5 bedroom house,
Living life fancy free,
Sat watching your 80 inch flatscreen TV,
How could I of been so stupid,
Not to see you so vile and putrid?
Even when caught you refused to stop
Not stealing just creaming some money off the top.

Then I got strong and took back the power,
Turned time into my finest hour,
I dug deep and built my walls,
Ignored the texts and your desperate calls,
You thought I was dumb, but I am clever,
And now I get to see you never.
I'm stronger than I knew,
And now there is nothing you can do.

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Last few words: 
My father used to look after my finances and I was on the brink of poverty yet he could afford 2 houses, 3 cars and had a bank account that "looked like someone's phone number" I noticed a significant gap inbetween what he gave me to live on and how much he "creamed off the top" of my benefits to the tune of about £150 a week, I ate one meal a day so I could feed my kids and he kept coming round my house to tell me to turn the heat off because it was costing too much money. He was caught out by me and despite him threatening to leave me and my kids without light and heat, I managed to get my money going into my account. Been no contact with my family for 9 years.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Tue, 2021-04-13 01:33

Geezer's picture
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I can see how you would be very upset with your father and any of the rest of the family that aided and abetted him in his crimes against you and your children. Regardless of how much he was stealing, it is not just skimming some off the top.
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Maybe if you were to make more of an effort to tighten up the lines and add or delete some syllables to them to make them more closely equal in beats, it would make this a little smoother.
Example:
1] Abused my money, family fraud
2] Welfare neglect, life going south
3] Can't afford it, check the meter
I like that you were able to articulate such heavy emotion; that I became involved. Not the sort of thing that you might put on FB or any Social-Media site, but... for a personal cache of memories and struggles, a great way to let him know how you feel. ~ Geezer.
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