Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Gods Great Art

I sometimes wondered what I'd see
If all the veils swept back for me,
Would heaven sparkle silver and gold
Would I be welcomed into the fold

I look to the stars his great design
Closing my eyes I prayed for a sign,
lowering my head I opened my eyes
Stars sparkled back to my surprise

The water at my feet held liquid light
It was then I realized it was ignited
all the answers I seeked I held inside
Gods great mystery wont be denied

My veins throb with thunder
My heart's filled with light
All the pain that is suffered
Is extinguishing my sight

But, I can lift each of my hands
reaching into the sun
Pulling out its core
hear a thundering has begun

Arcing and sparking
This magnificent light
holding this artwork
I feel gifted tonight.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

This poem goes way beyound words to escribe the beauty of it. It leaves me with such a peaceful calm thank you

Chrys

check out our chat room open to all 24/7

I was freestyling rhyme. This is what came out. I am so happy you liked it and it brought you calm and peace.
It needs work this is fresh off the press. I just liked it and I've always loved the stars. I've written about them before so many times but I think it maybe the first time I've combined my faith and love of the stars. I'd have to wade through them lol no no that I cant do. Not today lol

Love you Jayne xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

good to see you posting your poem which has a good rhythm and lends your inner voice to it...i am sure you will be tweaking it up a bit in a couple of lines to keep the rhyme sequence...

it's unique like you...

you may have seen that Cat is back...i am sure she would love to read it...

be well...much love and warm hugs..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Hmmm yes it doesn't have complete unison but the.lines got shorter and I changed the rhythm towards the end. And I had spotted a couple of things that needed tweeking as you said, I'm worried I'll lose it's meening. I have been working on my book and I've neglected my writing (poetry). As other things have been completed you can expect to see me more often. I am looking forward to being more active in the community. I didnt know Cat was back !! It's been years since I saw her. I look forward to catching up with her.

Much love and big hugs
Jayne

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

it is so good to see you have come back to us! I've been away, too. health and medical issues. plus a couple of surgeries. I was diagnose with psoriatic arthritis and fibromyalgia in the last year. I hope you are well. from reading this poem, I can see that you have a beautiful attitude! such lovely ideas, as you always did have!

*warmest greetings, Cat
-

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

It has been way too long sweet lady. I came back for a milli second last year but yeah. I wish I i could say I have been well. Two tumours in my spine two emergency surgeries for Cauda Equina Syndrome, 17th Aug 2013 and the 20th Aug 2014. Then Aug 2015 I went to the dr for my scripts, he asked me was I ok, told him I was getting the flu. He subsequently did a blood test and said if you dont hear back by 5.30pm that day all was fine. Well at 5.45 I left the house to celebrate my youngest sons birthday. I gotta admit I felt horrible. From 6 till 10 my Dr tried to ring me, next morning at 5.30am my Dr. rang said where the heck are you I said in bed where all normal people are at this hour. Always the smartass lol he said go to the hos NOW actually no dont go I'm ringing an ambulance. I was rushed up they did another blood test said I had acute renal failure. Next morning they told me that that day I would have been dead but for my Dr. On the Friday they told me it wasn't Acute. It was chronic. I csnt feel from mid thigh down. Learnt to walk without feeling. I have to self cath forever. Well mine anyway.

Hahaha Omg !! I forgot to tell you I severed my ring and middle finger on the 15th Jan 2017 had to be rushed to the city for emergency surgery ro repair them. Lol Ask Ian
Gee, Chrys and Jessica. They've all seen the pictures. We all including Lonnie and Jess and Judy when they were all still with us, God bless, kept in touch via FB and my journey to learn to write with my right hand. Omg that sucked. Lol

You have always had frail health and im so so sorry for your diagnoses' oh hon what a load you must bear. I dont know much about Fibromyalgia but i do know all about arthritis. I have disc degeneration. I hope you have help ? I have a full time carer these days. I thought by this age I'd be back working and travelling. But its not to be.

I have missed you.

Biggest hugs J xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

This would almost be morphing poetry if you had just abandoned rhyme on last stanza. But as usual you Had to be different lol. First 2 stanzas are most excellent and set up the almost rhyme in the next which sets up the decreasing rhyme later. Read your response to Cat. It appears we have both had a couple of rough years. But worry not as we're both tough as pine knots and neither of us will give folks we dislike the satisfaction of giving up lol.........stan

Jess said to me that was what made me different. I never was normal lmao God I miss that man I need a good blue hahaha yeah this was me set free. I was rather surprised myself that it rhymed I took no notice until it was finished. You know me too well. I will be working on my poetry this one most of all atm. Its all over the place but I dont want to lose the story.

Bro I am sorry to hear you were unwell. Message me and fill me in, yep I'm tough as nails always have been, though this year has taken a toll. And never in the way I expected.

Much love and biggest hugs I have missed you lot xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

do you know
in CORONASIS PERIOD
god has been held back
all religious places under lock- out control ...
May be it
god humans foretold
your poetry is furbished
G OLD

If you are just 51
a sis you can't be
daughter may be

I have two
one 53+++++
other nearing 50

God bless You
DAUGHTERLY/DEAREST AUSSIE

Tears come into my eyes
as if the heavens cry
I can't say why
I my eyes can't dry

thanks to you
you promise
to remember me

It would be an honour.

My father though a loving father.
Always seemed disconnected.
Mum died he remarried
But he tried harder we even said
I love you

I always think of him when I hear the Reba McEntire song

The greatest man I never knew.

So I now have two parents
not my own but borrowed
a Da IanT I'm his Jaughter
and whatever it doesnt really matter
Loved is love ;)

Love J xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.