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Only Memories
Hi childhood friend,
memories they say is best framed
because it reminds us of miles long left behind
but it makes life sweet you know
in times of sorrow it makes us laugh
with our heart wide open like a flower
True friendship is like the Iroko tree
even though destiny has placed us apart
but let believe the sun to set on our path again
have a wonderful day
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
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Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Chiori
Tue, 2020-06-16 07:56
to all my old friends
to all my old friends
always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing
lovedly
Tue, 2020-06-16 09:30
just hope
they reciprocate
Chiori
Wed, 2020-06-17 02:02
Maybe, thanks lovedly
Maybe, thanks lovedly
always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing
Gracy
Tue, 2020-06-16 15:17
Hello Chiori, I think the
Hello Chiori, I think the title could be "Memories". It's a happy poem for these dark days. We try to live on our best remembrances, but sometimes the bad ones creep in nightmares. I like our heart wide open like a flower. The poem makes a great deal of sense, no nits from me. Is the Iroko tree beautiful?
Thanks for wishing us a wonderful day, same to you, Gracy
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
Chiori
Wed, 2020-06-17 02:00
Thanks Gravy, noted
Thanks Gracy, noted
always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing
Geezer
Tue, 2020-06-16 17:27
Nice work...
Just one little criticism. I think it would be better if you said that: memories [are] best framed. ~ Geezer.
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