and the flow is nice, and the conclusion works. The poem has a good presence.

In my view these lines are much too long and break up the rhythm of the reading which has a certain pace...

The world about these mountain cliffs that can shelter so many lives,
the world about broken shadows of my face that shelter deep light like ocean,

also this one I can't wrap I head around-

loyal distance and not the hypocrisy in blooming,

for me it's too abstract, I can reach far into "blooming" but not as an hypocrisy...like what blooms?
flowers, talent, love, so that everything that blooms is lying, will die? Is there no joy in the blooming in this world you are describing about peace and hope?

..

be an echo, but I really agree with Eumolpus, you should rework this poem, [which is a great theme, by the way]. I do get it though. I read it differently. I get the idea clearly. Maybe the line that he mentions, should read: "The world about loyal distance, not the hypocrisy blooming" ? I think what you are saying here is: Though someone is pretending to be loyal, while they are away or asking someone to be, they, in fact are not? I think if you want to shorten the lines, this is how I would do it.

The world about humans
not about the circumstance etc.

Delete the [ands] stacking the line halves as though they are two lines.
Gives the reader a pause in the rhythm and smoother flow.

There are the two other lines that I would break up:

"The world about these mountain cliffs
that can shelter so many lives

About broken shadows of my face
sheltering deep ocean-like light

Of course, while these are only suggestions and you are free to do as you will,
I do think that it will improve this poem. ~ Geezer.
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to rewrite the whole poem for you, but I think if I can get you to see the pattern and rhythm in it, you can figure it out for yourself. I would do this:

The world about humans
not the circumstance
About the human heart
not the crony soul

The world about the distance
not the hypocrisy
World about the peace
not the waiting

As always, these are only suggestions and you are free to use or discard anything I've said. I like the theme and I hope that you get more time to work on your poetry, because you seem to take critique and use it to your advantage. Good luck and keep writing! ~ Geezer.
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