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If Clothes Could Speak (Edited)

i.

If clothes could talk to the dressing on our wounds...

Weird Jess said when freedom is an outlawed aphorism then only
the outlaw is free in a dog eat dog world. I'd rather not be a dog,
I think Dingo Dog agrees. Aphorisms, however, are inconsolable if
their property rights are stolen and there is no gift left to give
when opening the eternal present and the moon is left behind.

ii. If wounds could speak...

Caught. Like fireflies in a glass jar, poets blink on and off, some
glow in unison marking a trail of blood to books that never fly like
blackbirds into the sky.

~~~~~~~

Last few words: 
Weirdelf, this poem is my way of saying thank you. http://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/Poets/R/Ryokan/thiefleftit/index.html The thief left it behind by Ryokan English version by Stephen Mitchell Original Language Japanese The thief left it behind: the moon at my window.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Haha! Gotta laugh at the quite brilliance of your writing! You are simply sheer class, there is no two ways about it! It is apparent that you have a natural ability to lure a reader in from the first line, and I think this is some of the finest work I've read on here for some time. You are quite something!
I have also passed this classic along, although on another site.I think it a great example of free verse making good use of poetic devices

Mario Vitale

Please pass along the edited version, Mario.

Thanks to a workshop, it's been improved, I think. I knew it just wasn't quite what it could be, and I give thanks to a friend who offered her critique,

Sometimes poets know in their hearts... only when it's vocalized by another, does a good edit come to fruition.

author comment

"like fireflies in a glass jar, poets blink on and off." nice. an interesting meditation on aphorisms

Yup, Greg, poets (like fireflies) punch holes in the darkness.

author comment

a good example of poetic communication.
..................................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

And the nature of editing.

:-)

author comment
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